Wendy Behary Episode 36 Narcissism

Navigating Narcissism in Work and Life – S02. E36.

About Wendy Behary:

With 25+ years of professional experience and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC-DC. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for  more than 20 years. Wendy was on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of  New York (until the Institutes merged in 2012), where she trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow and consulting supervisor for The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Aaron T. Beck’s Institute). Wendy served as the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST) from 2010-2014 and served as the Training and Certification Coordinator for the ISST Executive Board from 2008-2010. She is currently the chair of the Schema Therapy Development Programs Sub-Committee for the ISST. 

Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on Schema Therapy and Cognitive Therapy. She is the  author of an international bestselling book, “Disarming the Narcissist…” translated into 15 languages. The Third  Edition was released on October 1, 2021. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with  and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of  several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism for professional readers. She lectures both nationally and  internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, narcissism, interpersonal relationships,  anger, and dealing with difficult people. She receives consistent high praise for her clear and articulate teaching style and her ability to bring the therapy to life through dramatic demonstrations of client interactions in the treatment room.  

Her work industry business speaking engagements focus on interpersonal conflict resolution. Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems. 


Wendy Behary, founder and director of The Schema Institutes of NJ/NYC/DC and author of the best-selling “Disarming the Narcissist” (available in 14 languages), joins Dr. Laura once more to dig deeper into how narcissists show up at work and in home life. She explains the emotional impact of the narcissistic individual on those around them.

Wendy Behary details the way in which overt and covert narcissists work to exert control over people and also how intimidating, overwhelming, and anxiety-producing they can become. She and Dr. Laura explore how gaslighting, or distorting reality, is used by the narcissist to instill doubt in others. Wendy has keen insight into how to cope with narcissists in your workplace or home, how to regain a sense of self, and also when and how to confront them in order to find your voice. Wendy encourages learning how to regain calm within yourself, not just for dealing with narcissists but so you can pursue personal wellness.

“The narcissist is attracted to self-sacrificers. And so often the empath and the self sacrificer are one and the same. So when we think about someone who is highly self sacrificing, typically what motivates that is two things: guilt and empathy. So if you’ve got a super amount of empathy and you also carry guilt, which may have been laid down through modeling in your own early life, then chances are you’re willing to sacrifice your own needs, even your own identity, in order to please another. Narcissist: yay, happy day, right?” – Wendy Behary